Do You Think You're Unhappy? | Photo by Brixiv

MODASUL | Do You Think You’re Unhappy? | Do you feel shortchanged by life? Do you think that somehow, some life experiences ruined your chance for happiness? Perhaps you’re struggling to make ends meet, experiencing strain in your relationships, or dealing with ongoing health challenges.  It seems that everyone has found a reason to be happy, except you.  And maybe at this point, you’re convinced that joy and contentment are just not for everyone, and you’re one of the (un)lucky few.

No human being, no matter how wealthy, famous, or successful, is immune to the feeling that life has dealt them a particularly tough hand. Many people may, in fact, be hiding their true feelings under a façade of happiness. But the truth is, some people have cultivated the ability to focus on the positive aspects of their lives rather than dwelling on the negative.  This may seem hard, and sometimes hypocritical– but it is the key ingredient to learning how to be happy.  

The big secret to happiness is finding the good in one’s life and deliberately choosing to focus on it rather than on the bad.  It is the way to unlock the door that leads to contentment, even under seemingly worsening circumstances.

One of the ways you can practice this is when you are faced with the mistakes of others.  Usually, character differences and poor decisions of people around you cause you a lot of stress.  When you choose to refocus during these situations by understanding the faults of others, putting to mind that each individual’s temperament is the direct result of their unique upbringing and life experiences, you ease off a huge emotional and mental burden from yourself.

Realize that differences are a natural part of every human relationship. When two or more individuals come into contact with one another, tension at various levels is almost inevitable to arise. By shifting our attention to the positive aspects of the other person and the advantages of our connection with them as an individual, we can gain a new perspective on the aspects about them that we used to have trouble appreciating.

The absence of difficulties is not a prerequisite for happiness in marriage or any other intimate relationship. Finding satisfaction and fulfillment in one another’s unique qualities is a sign of emotional maturity in interpersonal interactions. While it’s true that sometimes disagreements can’t be resolved, it’s also true that actual happiness isn’t always the same as apparent pleasure, and that comparing our relationships or our lives to those of others only serves to bring us down. 

The more we internalize this fundamental truth, the more open we will be to discovering happiness in people and places we would never have imagined.